Tag Archives: relationship

Walking out…


My dear Friend/Relative/Lots of people in my Life,

First of all, allow me to begin by thanking you for all the great times we had. But I think it’s time for us to admit that we have reached a certain stage where our dynamics have been exhausted and it would be in the best of interests of both if I just walk out from here.

Believe me, I have done the idiotic mistake of carrying dead relations since small. I enjoy being in relations but in the moment or rather my desperate hope to cling to them, I simply missed their expiry date. (Most have oneL)

For instance, in Class VII, I was good friends with my class-mate. We used to sit together, go dance classes, tuitions together.  Then the friction started increasing and we stopped talking. Just for the sake of I don’t know why, we continued our activity together and continued being miserable. All the while, I could have part ways, make some new friends but I was I…

You may be wondering why I haven’t walked out yet…

  1. Civility. Sometimes, its like that tight jeans which makes you look cool but is totally suffocating.
  2. Pain of “Letting go”
  3. My fantasies would remain fantasies
  4. Fear of being alone
  5. Glimmer of hope of return (It sounds and it is desperate)
  6. Believing that it is the best I can get
  7. He/She is very vital to me

And probably more…

So, lets me amiable and unburden ourselves with our non-useful baggage and don’t tire ourselves out.

What if you continue to carry unnecessary stuff while packpacking?

Think if he continues to shove that blue bag with non-useful stuff…

You can claim:

I am expecting too much from Life.Maybe you are right, but I would prefer to make a mistake and know your value rather than stuck in a crushing compromise and curse you throughout.

It’s only your mind running wild. At the end of the day, am I happy? The answer came NO. If the surface of ocean is silent, it doesn’t mean it is silent.

What’s harm in keeping whatever we have. I am always going to be dejected around you. And as a result, negativity would start seeping inside. I would become grumpy and shall be looked as crappy person. Besides, the portion of brain would be better employed somewhere else.

I am the best that you can get. There are 6,973,738,432 people in world. I doubt that. Maybe I already have someone but I am ignoring him

Life is a compromise. Compromise is middle way and it doesn’t seem to me like that.

I will be truthful. Walking out of you will hurt a lot. It’s scary and dilemma of right and wrong but I would prefer in not getting dejected over someone who isn’t glad to have me, no point in forming bonds with you just we are blood-related, no point in belittling myself where every fault is inadvertently mine, no point in being a relation which cuts my wings.

You and I both deserve better.

I know I will be tempted to carry the dead again whenever I see you but I will remember the reason and see if it has been altered and realize we came together as different persons and go away as different. I will walk out politely so that bridge is not completely burnt.

Take care of yourself.

Previously yours,

GG

So many different people... I should just look around

So many different people… I should just look around

 

 

 

Anybody But Not Him


Finally, today was the day… the day when I was finally going to tell her how much I loved her and how much she meant to me. For days I have been struggling with myself every minute whether I should tell her the way I feel about her and the way she makes me feel.

The night was perfect. The moon was shining like a galleon, and a pleasant wind wafted across the moonlit night. I was going to meet her at the terrace, our spot since childhood. I was nervous as hell and I was just parading up and down. At last, I decided to kick-off the fear and climbed up the stairs. It was not at all easy. As more and more I climbed the stairs, even in such breezy atmosphere, I could literally feel the sweat sticking to my body. The voices in my head began to quarrel again, “No way man you can’t do that. You will lose her forever.” “Go Arjun Go. You should tell her. Perhaps she loves you too.” With the slightest of hope, I ascended the stairs and saw her standing there… her face glowing in moonlight and the wind playing with her hair, bringing them over and over her cheeks. “Tonight, I am going to propose a fairy”.

She was extraordinarily happy, she was blushing and she let out a large scream. I panicked, “Did she know already?” I saw the red rose in my hand and oorf, I forgot to hide it. She came running to me and hugged me, “I am sooooo happy today. Thank you.”

“Thank you!!!!”… I thought completely confused, “Whats happening here?” But I managed to utter, “Suhani, I am a little lost here. What’s going on?”

“Come on. Don’t act surprised. You already know” she said jumping around the whole terrace.

“What?”

“I am committed. Kabir proposed to me today and I said yes”.

I couldn’t believe my ears. “What???”

“Yes, I am in a relationship”.

The words hit me like a tornado hitting a house in North America. It could have blown or crushed me. Actually, it had but I needed to put a strong face and You know what, “It hurts…”

“Su, how??… when??”

“It started with fb chats. Then we started talking on the phone and soon we began to like each other and…” she blushed again.

Somehow the rose, which I bought, had a thorn and it started pricking me…

“And you never even bothered to tell me? Come on, we are friends since childhood”, totally surprised how one heart can handle various feelings so well – pain, anger, hurt,  disdain, appall.

She broke the eye-contact and looked down, “Well… I know you don’t like him.”

“Yeah Damn right…”, my anger getting better of me.

“Pleaseee… Know him. He is a sweet guy. Really”

“I don’t trust him.”

“WHY??”

I wondered why we are having this discussion again. She already knew my deep-rooted angst against him from our previous talks.

“My intuition tells me not to…” Since the day I met him, I had a strong feeling about him, a strong dislike, an aura of treachery.  An instinctive natural warning. Something struck me off about this guy.

“You know maybe you should start talking with him. He understands me, listens to me (pretends) and loves me(pretends). I also love him and…” She took a deep breath and threw lightning on me, “ I don’t care if you approve of it or not”

The thorn pricked further. Our Years of Friendship, those times when we just needed each other didn’t matter. All mattered was a few days interaction. I was at the verge of crying but I better hold up.

“You are right… Why should you care about my opinion? He is THE ONE right…” in a sarcastic tone. I needed to go, I could not bear any more. I turned my back.

“You are really being silly. Tell me what is this really about?” she demanded.

“Its about… shucks… I LOVE YOU and I cannot see you with him, especially him”, my eyes had started getting watered and I just stumped to my knees.

“Arjun, what?… what? You love me” Her eyes expanding in disbelief and she kneeled in front of me.

“But I never felt about you in that way… Please I don’t want to lose a friend. Accept us and move on..” She said, wiping the tears near my eyelids. If only, she could see the tears in my heart.

I gulped and begged, “Su, Anybody but not him?”

“I don’t get it…”

The girl whom I loved the most was with the boy I hated the most. “I don’t trust him”

“But I do and …”

“I know…” I stood up, turned away from her and headed to stairs.

When I was at the edge of stairs, she called, “You always said the best part of our friendship is we understand.”

I turned around and looked in her eyes, which were about to roll tears and said

“If Only you could…”

Vote for me now!

An apology was all I needed


“In Friendship, there is no sorry and no thank you”. I have heard it many times and thrash it many times. How can you not thank anyone if he/she has done something for you? How can you not apologize for your mistake which hurt your friend’s feeling? I believe it was the tale of some Fantasy Friendship which became famous somehow. Until I went to boarding school and made some real Friends…

Now, after five years of Friendship, fights, reunion, drifting, seeing the best friends break and …, I realized one crucial thing that although we actually don’t need to say “Sorry” from our mouth but our Friends need sincere “Sorry” from our eyes…

Recently, I was at the edge of holding something which I eagerly desired and awaited a longgg time, but at the last minute my friend goofed-up big-time. As a result, I was deprived of that. I was angry and sad. But the thing, which raised my anger hugely, was that he kept on justifying his action. He, never, even for one moment, had that look of regret or sorry in his eyes or body-language. Simply, he kept on and on… Only if he could have just come up and say “I am sorry” or simply bring regret in his eyes, I would have been less hurt. But that never came…

Even if you ask any teacher what irks him most after a student is caught committing a mistake? Its not the mistake but the defiance in our eyes, our eyes shouting “I refuse to accept my mistake, I did not do anything wrong. I am not sorry”.

So next time you make a mistake. Don’t fool yourself into that you didn’t make mistake (in case of Friends) and Don’t act as if you were right but show him/her that you are sorry if you can’t say it… That look will tell him everything you want to say and trust me, he will forget and forgive even your biggest mistake…  It might seem to you that “Our Friendship is unlike others. We don’t need to apologize”. But alas, it’s a misconception because we all are “humans” and if we in anyway get harmed, no matter who did, we are bruised. We keep it in some corner and move on. This keeps on piling and piling until one day, you start to hate him and when the pile becomes overstacked, your Friendship breaks or you simply drift away (think back of friendships which lost its intensity for no reason).

Friends are rare, if you think you have lots of them, you are kidding yourselves. Don’t lose them or don’t take them granted. Just summon up your courage and tell him “Sorry” and or at the very least, show him you are sorry. That will be all…

Also, be warned your sorry should be genuine and heartfelt. You may think you have pull wool over your friend’s eyes but even though he will not say anything, he will know…